Ares jokes

The cemetery is so overcrowded.

People are just dying to get in.

Roses are red, violets are violet.

My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.

Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

You might think these jokes are plane.

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

I guess the owners of this site are braindead Trump supporters.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!