Ares jokes
These are just plain wrong jokes.
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.
I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.
Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.
You are a fat pig.
You are so cat.
You are so dumb.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Sorry.
Why are you sorry?
Sorry for putting deez nuts in your mouth.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The teacher fainted.
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!