Appointment jokes
Sy'kyira (馃槍): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (馃槉): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (馃槄): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (馃槍): I know, right?
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn鈥檛 know you're there.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that鈥檚 a common reaction to pepper spray.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
What are the four letters you don鈥檛 want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....