Appointment Jokes

dentist: open up sir

me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea

dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth

me: :O ohhhh my bad

dentist : do u need help??

me: yep

dentist:...

me: ....

Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?

Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION

I will be back on tomorrow at 5pm cst

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor

Because parents signature

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

why did go to the chiropractors? to get his spine fixed

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

Yo so small that wen you go the doctor he doesn’t no you there

Lostin Flowers14 days ago What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

i can make a word with those \DICK

Guy tells his pal...My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or boy. "Congrats man...what are you gonna name it if it's a boy? .... We're going with Trevor. Ok, what if it's a girl?... then we'll have an abortion.

A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"

What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth? -- The dentist!

Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist? A: 2:30

A Japanese man goes to the dentist after being there for a while, the dentist ask “ How of do you floss your teeth? The jap said “ after every meal”, when they finish up the dentist turns to him and “says you need to floss your eyes more, I can still see them”