Appointment jokes
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."