Availability jokes
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"
Memes
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I will be back on tomorrow at 5pm CST.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
Talk to me if you're online.
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Gwen, you on?
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.