Appointment Jokes

Why did the computer go to the doctor ?

Because it had a virus

Sign outside a hair salon: We'll color your hair or dye trying.

A lady walks in to a dentists office, sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the lady replies; last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out

i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore. 2: I'm dying, finally. 3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"

The doctor and said he had good news and bad news. The Good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you yesterday.

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?" Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed ... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME !!!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today. Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow? Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you. Orphan: Why? Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

A blonde walks into the Doctors office. She tells the Doctor, " My boyfriend has dandruff". The Doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the Doctors phone rings. He answers, its the Blonde. The Doctor asks how he can help her. " Well Doctor, I understand head, but how do you hove shoulders?"...........