Apple jokes
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!