Apple jokes
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."