Apple jokes

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Why do orphans sit in apple trees?

They wait to be picked.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

How do you make an apple turnover?

You push it down a hill.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

Don’t fart in an Apple Store.

It has no Windows.

Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.