Apple jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.