Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
