Apple jokes

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.

How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.