Apple jokes
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Mreow meow meow meow :3
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.