Appearance jokes

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.

Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.