Appearance jokes

Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

Donald Trump is, like, really orange.

Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.

Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.

My sis a fat cow.

Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.

Your forehead is like my dad.

Non-existent.

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

Johnny: What?

Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

Ex: Awhh!

Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.

Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.