Appearance jokes

My sis a fat cow.

Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.

Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.

Your forehead is like my dad.

Non-existent.

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!

Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

Johnny: What?

Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

Ex: Awhh!

Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!