Appearance jokes

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!

What do you call a fat Chinese man?

A double chinkey.

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.