Appearance jokes

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

Cremation:

My last hope for a smoking hot body.

Me: What did one toilet say to the other?

You: What?

Me: You look flushed!

Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A. Ask your mother.

Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.

Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.