Appearance jokes

Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

Cremation:

My last hope for a smoking hot body.

Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.

Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A. Ask your mother.

Me: What did one toilet say to the other?

You: What?

Me: You look flushed!

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.

Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Yo mama's so ugly that even Hello Kitty had to say goodbye.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"