Appearance jokes
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
Hot water look a**.
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.
Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You're sponsoring eBay with your hairline.