Appearance jokes
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.