What do you call a dog with no legs?? ...you cant call it anything. It won't vome to you
What does a politician and a minister have in common? both of them will tell you anything to get money from you
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything
Can i get a glass of water? I will give u anything u ask.
Really, than give me a pond of water
god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.
Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Will just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean hey my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it
Some say Stephen Hawkins was a genius but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touch each other or anything, so sir, I did not drop-kick that child
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
