Answer jokes
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."