ANS jokes
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What is an Emo's favorite movie?
"Suicide Squad."
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.