ANS jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between you and an orphan?

Orphans have zero family.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

What shouldn't you ask an emo?

"Do a wrist reveal."

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples are picked.

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come back.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

What do you call an orphan selfie?

A family photo.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

What do you call a gay Megalodon?

Magalogay.