ANS jokes
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.