ANS jokes
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
me after an essay
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
Why can't an orphan play baseball in China?
They can't find home plate.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."