ANS jokes
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "Sad"
Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
I walk into school, and look up praying.
"Man, would be a shame if the buildings fell from an airplane."
Nothing happened. There is no God.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.