ANS jokes

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.

Teacher: Who?

Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What is the healthiest fruit?

An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!

How do you make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!

What do you call an orphan's family picture?

A selfie.

What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta.

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four chin teller.

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

What’s an orphan's favorite food?

: Not home food.

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."

An autistic man walks into a bra.