ANS jokes
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?
Two family reunions!