ANS jokes

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

What is an orphan's least favorite movie? Home.

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.

What’s an emo's favorite game?

The emo within.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...

An orphan.

What does an orphan call a family photo taking a selfie?