ANS jokes
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
Antisocial
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.