ANS jokes
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator