ANS jokes
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.