Animal jokes
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What do you call a cow with no leg?