Animal

Animal Jokes

Frog

Why are frogs good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

Pie

What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?

Mississippi Mud.

Penguin

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

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  • KGB

    The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

    The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

    "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

    Blind man

    A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

    Rat

    What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

    Man

    A man opened a snail farm.

    He said that it is a slow-moving business.

    Octopus

    Why did the octopus cross the road?

    To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙

    Cat

    I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

    Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

    Cat

    Why are cats good at video games?

    Because they have nine lives!

    Cow

    What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

    The cow didn’t make it.

    Poker

    Why did the tiger lose at poker?

    Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

    Pigeon

    Did you know pigeons die after sex?

    Well, at least the one I fucked did.