Animal jokes
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
MooMooMooMoo
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
Why did the robot cross the road?
Because he was programmed by the chicken!
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because...
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.