Animal jokes
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
MooMooMooMoo
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.