Animal jokes
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.