Animal jokes
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.