Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.