Animal jokes
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Black dog is gay.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!