Animal jokes
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A baby seal walked into a club.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.