Animal jokes
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss