Animal jokes
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.