Animal jokes
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.