Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
