Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Animal Jokes
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
I am mis-steak.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
DOGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
