Animal jokes
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
Octopussy.
"Baaad boy."
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”