Animal jokes
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
Octopussy.
"Baaad boy."