Animal jokes
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Octopussy.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Terrance M.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."