Octopussy.
Animal Jokes
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Terrance M.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. 😂
