Animal jokes
What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
What is an egg?
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
JAW don't know sh*t!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
About a dog.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What can fly?
Bird.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.