"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
A seal walks into a club.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
