Animal jokes
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
JAW don't know sh*t!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
About a dog.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What can fly?
Bird.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.