Animal jokes
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Why did the cow eat?
Because it was hungry.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
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What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.