Animal jokes
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
Dinosaurs be like:
".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the douchebag's house.
Knock knock.
(It's the octopus.)
What's a rabbit's favorite song?
Hip hop.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
Why was the elephant woozy?
Because he was trunk.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"