What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Q. What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A. Kittens.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Meow meow meow meow :p
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
