Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife. The bartender answers "Mate you ain't got enough bullets."
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".
What do you call your angry french aunt
A crossaunt
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!
We should really stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad.
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
when you get mad just punch a orphan who are they going to tell their mom
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
God my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
What did the cat say when he got mad?
Im hissed
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression
Why were 9/11 victims so mad? The ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
Are you angry?
Go Bully an Orphan!
WHat are they gonna do, tell their parents?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
