I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
