American jokes
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What is the national bird of Iran?
An American drone.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?