America Jokes

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂

My life.

Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

A screenshot of a Google search result for "adolf hitler cause of death". The result states "Suicide" followed by a humorous and fictional account: "when Hitler challenged Anne Frank to a duel, he aimed and pulled the trigger, however his gun was made in America. The bullet could sense the Nazism in Hitler's finger s, and turned around in midair, screaming "Right back at ya, buckaroo" and killed Hitler."

Why did America loose the chess match?

They were down 2 towers.

America and UK are a joke

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."

Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"

"North America, best America."

England: No towers?

America: No queen?

England: Remember 1812?

America: No tea?

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

Nobody:

The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

Why is America the fastest readers?

They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds

Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...

Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"