America Jokes

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: we threw your tea in the ocean. 💀

British people making offensive jokes about America: our towers didn’t explode.😎

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

What heppened when the American broke his arm...

He went broke

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran

🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷

a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!

Her:"Land of the free" Me:*fat Her: What do you mean? Me: Its not fat free

America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!" Japan: "We are the ammo."

In America, you work on plantation In Soviet Russia, plantation work on you!

What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?

In the U.K, it's a swear word

In America, it's a family reunion

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

What's Americas no.1 class

target practice

Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!

The statue of liberty is French she ain't even American deport that bitch!

School is a lot like boot camp, the only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." -- Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.