America jokes

What's America's no. 1 class?

Target practice.

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.

Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!

What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.

Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!

I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!