Always jokes

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

You should always be happy about family and love.

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?

Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!

Why do disabled people make good golfers?

Because they're always handicapped.

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.