Always jokes

Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

Bee Jokes:

"Hello."

"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

"Fan?"

"Yes, your worst fan!"

"No! Fan!"

"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?

Condoms!

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.

The man says, "Will you move your dog?"

The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.

The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

Why are orphans always sad?

Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!

So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.

Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.