Always jokes
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?
Because he was always rolling in late.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?