Always jokes

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

Why is the sea salty? Because it is always blue.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

I love stairs. They always bring me up.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.