Always jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Why was the rapper always well-dressed?
Because he knew the importance of FLOW in FASHION.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?
Because they always drop the beet!
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.