Always jokes

Society is like chess, it's always whites vs blacks.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.

Why are feminists always against men?

Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

Dude, 9/11 jokes always bomb.

As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.