Always jokes
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
Memes
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁